Why I'm writing this
A few months ago, I was caught in the middle of a stakeholder tug-of-war.
Two directors. Two equally important projects. One team with no capacity left.
Both were convinced everything could happen at once, on top of what was already in the pipeline.
Here's what I did:
Before the meeting, I clarified the effort and risk to both sides. I made sure the people reporting to each director already understood the trade-offs. By the time we all sat down together, the room had already shifted.
The meeting went from a pull war to a problem-solving conversation.
That was a reframe. And I enabled it.
Afterwards I thought: this would have been so much harder when I was junior.
I've seen it happen. PMs commit to both projects because they're afraid to navigate the tension. They think saying no, or even "not yet," creates politics.
But avoiding it is the most political thing you can do.
That's why I'm writing this.
What politics really is
Let's start with the word itself.
Most people hear "politics" and immediately think manipulation. Back-channeling. People taking credit for things they didn't do.
That happens. But it's the dirty version.
At its core, politics is about two things: influence and relationships. And the power those give you, or don't. It's the informal, behind-the-scenes effort that happens in every organization as people position their priorities and get things done.
And here's what makes it inevitable.
Think about trust between two people. When you work closely with one person, trust is built (or broken) directly. You see their work. You know their intent. There are no gaps for perception to fill.
Now put five people in a room.
Not everyone has the same visibility into what everyone else does. Trust becomes patchy. People start filling the gaps with what they hear, how someone shows up in meetings, what others say about them.
Scale that to a company of 500.
Most people don't know you at all. Their perception of your credibility and priorities is built from a handful of interactions and secondhand information.
That gap between what you actually do and what people believe about you? That's where politics lives.
It's not a conspiracy. It's just how trust works at scale.
What this looks like in internal PM
You've probably seen these play out:
The PM who commits to everything
Two stakeholders want opposite things. She doesn't want to create conflict, so she says yes to both. Three months later, both projects are delayed. She's burned out. And both stakeholders are frustrated. With her.
The PM who lets the work speak for itself
He ships quietly and consistently. He never asks for anything. When budget cuts come, his product is first to go. Not because it wasn't valuable. Because no one in leadership really understood what it did.
The PM who does the pre-meeting
Before a big prioritization call, she has 1:1s with each key stakeholder. She listens first. What do they need? What are they afraid of? By the time the meeting starts, there are no surprises. Alignment happens fast. She looks like a miracle worker.
The PM who frames it as risk
His team is carrying months of tech debt. He doesn't go to leadership with "we need to refactor." He goes with: "This is costing us €35K/year and blocking every Q3 feature."
The conversation changes completely.
Same situation. Different framing. Different outcome.
The mindset shift
Thinking that politics is something you don't want to do, or avoid doing, or that it shouldn't be part of the job. That's a mindset that doesn't serve anyone.
There's a different way to look at it.
HBR calls it constructive politics. Building relationships before you need them. Framing your work in terms of impact. Making sure the right people understand what you're doing and why it matters. None of that is dirty.
Here's my version of the reframe: if you go in thinking this is manipulation, that's what you'll do. If you focus on building trust, that's what you'll build.
I'll be cliché for a moment and quote Tony Robbins: you live what you focus on.
Choose to focus on strong relationships, a circle of supporters, clear impact communication, and earned trust.
And none of that happens in official meetings. It gets built through every check-in, every pre-meeting 1:1, every follow-up email, every time you deliver what you said you would, and then tell someone about it.
Tools to navigate it (without playing dirty)
When you look at these, they're really not that terrible.
1. Do the meeting before the meeting
Before any high-stakes call, have 1:1s with key stakeholders. Understand their priorities. Surface objections early. By the time you're all in the room, it's a confirmation, not a negotiation.
2. Map interests, not just positions
A stakeholder's position is what they're asking for. Their interest is why. Two directors fighting over your team's capacity might both actually want the same thing: to hit Q3 targets. Find the shared interest and build from there.
3. Frame everything in impact
Never go to leadership with a process request. Go with a business case.
"We need to refactor" → "This is costing us €35K/year and blocking every Q3 feature."
The work is the same. The conversation is completely different.
4. Build relationships before you need them
The worst time to build trust with a stakeholder is when you need something from them. The best time is three months earlier. Make it a habit. One informal check-in per week with someone outside your immediate team.
5. Document alignment in writing
After any key conversation or decision, send a short follow-up:
"Just confirming what we aligned on: X by Y. If you see it differently or have anything to add, please reply."
It protects you. It builds credibility. It keeps everyone honest.
6. Use prereads
Write up your analysis, data, and recommendations before a decision meeting, not during it. People absorb written information differently than spoken. It gives them time to think. And it signals that you've done the work.
7. Frame your ideas as company value
Everyone's objective is to maximize value for the organization. If you frame your requests and proposals that way, not "I need this" but "here's what this unlocks for the business," it's much easier to get people on your side.
What's your political style?
Take the self-assessment → [QUIZ LINK]
6 quick questions. No right or wrong answers, just a reflection of where you are right now.
